Tuesday 16 August 2011

Rise Again.....

Oboi, what have i got myself into? This thing no easy oh but we will try. I have carried the attitude I always have towards all  the journals I keep to my blog. I will fill it in one day and before I do again ehn, time would have passed and I would already have gotten the dates mixed up...lol. Thankfully though, dates wont matter much on this blog.

Ok, back to business. I remember the days of YWAP (Youths With A Purpose, a christian group) in my life. The days when I'd do just anything because of my love for God. I remember how excited I used to be in my heart on Fridays (our fellowship days). How I couldn't wait to fellowship with my friends, hear TY (our coordinator) talk to us about God and the walk to heaven. The joy and contentment I used to feel when people took the bold step of giving their lives to Jesus, in that little room of ours where we used to worship.

Its nostalgia I feel now, cos things are very very different now. All of a sudden from the fierceness of my passion for God and his things, I found myself in positions and places I had never been in before. Parties, boyfriend, wonderful friends, waka waka, etc. Before I knew it the things that used to be important to me became less and less important. I decided that I had been missing so much in life and began to enjoy myself thoroughly. Men, that was it oh, as I dont pretend I couldnt be here and there. TY used to tell us that we cannot be hot and cold at the same time. God will spit us out straight. Its in the Bible somewhere in Revelations. So I followed the crowd and I'm not proud of this at all.

 I started withdrawing small small,  missing YWAP meetings regularly. First I used to feel bad whenever I did, but gradually I didn't care anymore. I began to feel uncomfortable whenever I met the members of my fellowship. We just were no more on the same page. Be aware of the fact that I was the one who was uncomfortable. Why was I uncomfortable? Is it not a free country any more? Can't i do whatever I want again? You know darkness always hides when light appears. Light is always the bold and darkness has no place where light exists. Anyway sha, that's how I was always hiding away when they were close by. You can decide who was light and who was darkness.

It got so bad that I couldn't even pray anymore. I must tell you, that in the midst of all these, my heart never really was peaceful. I know how many times a particular friend (one with whom I backslid at the same period...lol) and I used to sit and talk about our present lifestyles and its implications. Yet we were having too much fun, no one could stop us -empty life. Thank God that I'm still alive. Thank God that I have not yet died and I have more opportunities still. I don't know what I'm still waiting for, God has been so patient and faithful.

God did not abandon me in spite of my foolishness. I never once forgot that he was looking all the while, painstakingly watching a soul that was rejoiced over in heaven on the day I got born again waste and slip away. Yet I did not stop. He watched me gradually give victory to the devil. Not once did he take his eyes off me. All those nights when we would party and end up in cars of some drunk dudes to take us to our houses or school and come to near accidents. What if that was it? What if that was my end? What would I say to him? How would I argue judgement to roast in hell for ever. How would I explain my throwing my chance of eternity away? hmm.... (sigh).
So, today I am only too aware that I am not ready. It is no secret anymore that the time is near. As a matter of fact, my time might be closer than yours and vice versa. Look around, the people dying these days mostly no one expect at all. But they died anyway, without explanation. No need to ask any questions. All these things I have talked about, I haven't stopped. My spirit is more than willing for me to go back to my first love. But my flesh is still very weak. As far as I don't make a decision to give up all my worldly cravings I cannot fully be with him. God cannot be mocked. He is looking for true worshippers. People who will worship and revere him in spirit and in truth.

So why am I telling you guys all these? Honestly, I don't know oh. I just want to talk. But still, draw what you can from it. Let's encourage one another. You are not alone in your struggles. The enjoyment of this world is only but short-lived. Let's not get carried away by it. Why enjoy for 40, 50, 60 years only to be doomed forever? Love you all.
Take the time to follow this link. I have sent it around before. I am doing it again. It might encourage you.
  http://www.divinerevelations.info/Documents/Prepare_to_meet_your_God/index.htm

Monday 8 August 2011

Intro......

This is the newest blogger around oh, still learning the ropes, pardon me. Welcome to my blog, my open diary, my voice.


I guess the right thing to do will be to introduce myself isnt it?
So, my name is Nguper Abeda, I'm from Nigeria and from Benue State to be precise.... Now you know where i got my good looks from abi? Lol!!! Its a joke, I'm not arrogant, dont worry. Anyway, my dad is Tiv while my mom is Idoma by tribe.
I've got 5 siblings; four older and one younger than me. Thank God for them, I dont want to imagine how my life would be without them. Still very unbearable  people sometimes sha- arrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!


I'm a teacher by qualification and profession.... Yes oh, i studied pre-primary and primary education in the university... cool stuff yeah? I know many of you don't think so, but it doesn't matter. Its all vanity in the end anyway. Doctor or teacher.


When I was younger, people used to call me quiet, but I dont think I can be called that anymore. Something happened along the way (smiling). I am still a very calm person though and is very wary of anything that smells like trouble. I have the ability to remain calm in stormy weathers and I don't mean that literally. I proved this again very recently when i was hugely disappointed about something. People who knew about it showed more emotion than i did and when they saw me smiling they knew better than to stay gloomy....


I can keep a grudge for a long time naturally, but now that I am learning to operate on another level,(dont worry you'll find out about that soon), I am learning to let things go very easily.... how refreshing!!


I told you I now talk much these days. Let me take a break now. This is the briefest intro I could come up with. Is it dry? Is it good? Tell me now? What do you think?


Much love.